Whilst this is not uncommon for couples, regular sleep disruption can negatively affect relationships, health and wellbeing. A ‘sleep divorce’ is an opportunity for couples who struggle to sleep well when together, to try separate bedrooms, to see if it helps restore their sleep quality.
Snoring is undoubtedly recognised as the leading sleep disruptor between couples. However many other issues including body temperature, insomnia, fidgeting and parasomnias, such as night terrors and sleepwalking, can all play a role in diminishing a good night’s rest.
Although there may be a social stigma around sleeping in separate rooms, it certainly doesn’t equate to having a bad relationship. In fact, it can result in relationships improving and often help couples remain together.
Benefits of sleep divorce include reduced sleep interruptions, improved sleep quality, better moods and concentration and happier healthier relationships. However, retaining intimacy and connection when sleeping solo is a key element that requires careful navigation.
A sleep divorce does not mean break-ups follow
Society has made us believe all couples must share a bed; the reality is sleeping separately will not destroy domestic bliss, if couples are considerate to each other’s needs. Keep the three C’s front of mind; closeness, connection and most importantly communication.
Don’t alter the bedtime routine
Don’t make the mistake of feeling tired and sloping off to bed each night. Getting ready for bed together is a great time to share relaxing rituals that reinforce connection. So embrace that precious time of intimacy. Separate beds need only come into play when you’re ready for shut-eye. Likewise, if you enjoy a cup of tea and cuddle in bed together in the morning, share the bed again first thing!
Don’t strive for the perfect relationship
The perfect relationship doesn’t exist so don’t imagine that separate beds mean you’re no longer a happy couple. This is often one of the biggest barriers to trialling sleeping separately but so many couples are stronger together from enjoying a few nights of solo slumber. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it, it could be a rest-based revelation for your relationship!
Factor in additional extra physical affection!
What a great excuse to discuss what physical affection is important to you and how you can both find excuses for more if you are sleeping in different beds. It’s much more than sex, but moments of intimacy and connection such as cooking together, watching movies cuddling up, romantic walks and making time to talk through each other’s days. Time to show love and tenderness towards your partner remains the glue for a happy partnership.
Get a sleep health check!
For the ‘sleep disrupters’ it is important to address the reason for sleep disturbances where they are health-related. People who snore should consult an ENT doctor to establish the underlying causes. Even though their partner may now be rested following a sleep divorce, the issue and potential health conditions remain. For instance, there are multiple reasons why people snore, from weight gain to airway obstruction. Working with a sleep specialist will also help highlight the possible root to sleep issues and resolve the challenges for the betterment of the couple.
A bad night’s sleep should never be ignored, everyone deserves and needs a proper night’s rest. For those with regular sleep disruptions brought on by their partner and bed-sharing, it’s worth trialling a few nights of solo sleep as it could hold the key to the best night’s sleep you’ve had in a long time!
If you would like to listen to the clip of the Dubai Eye interview from Helen Farmer’s afternoon show you can do so here https://youtu.be/4cRcSmj9K8s
