Discover how switching up your baby’s bedtime routine can dramatically improve sleep training. Learn why the non-primary caregiver might be the key to helping your baby sleep through the night.
Why the Parent Who Doesn’t Usually Put Baby to Bed Could Be the Sleep Training Solution
In many households, one parent naturally becomes the primary caregiver — often taking charge of feeding, changing, cuddles, and yes, putting baby to bed. This isn’t necessarily a result of traditional roles, but of logistics. If one parent works more outside the home, the other is likely handling more of the bedtime duties.
But here’s a surprising truth from the world of infant sleep coaching:
Having the non-primary caregiver take over bedtime during sleep training can break unhealthy sleep habits faster — and more peacefully.
If you’re beginning gentle baby sleep training or working with a certified baby sleep consultant, this small change in your bedtime routine can lead to big results.
Why the Non-Primary Caregiver Might Be the Best Bedtime Choice
Whether you’re the primary caregiver or splitting parenting, the person who usually feeds or nurses the baby is often closely linked to sleep-time habits — or what we in the sleep coaching world call “sleep associations” or “sleep props.”
Sleep props are anything your baby relies on to fall asleep — like rocking, feeding, or being pushed in a stroller. These can quickly become ingrained for your baby, so much so that when your baby wakes at night, they need that same prop to fall back asleep.
To promote independent sleep skills, a great sleep coaching tip is to have the parent who doesn’t normally feed or nurse the baby take over the bedtime routine — at least during the early stages of sleep training. For more trusted guidance on helping your child fall asleep independently—and breaking night-time sleep associations—see the American Academy of Pediatrics’ guidance on Getting Your Baby to Sleep.
A Simple Sleep Coaching Strategy With Big Results
This isn’t a theory pulled from textbooks — it’s a tried-and-tested strategy that we recommend, after working with thousands of families and seeing transformative results.
Here’s why it works:
- Babies often get confused if the parent who usually feeds them is suddenly withholding that feed at bedtime.
- If the other parent takes over bedtime, it helps break that expectation, reducing confusion and protest.
- While there may still be some crying or resistance at first (which is completely normal during gentle baby sleep training), the process tends to go more smoothly and resolve far more quickly.
It’s one of those “temporary pain for long-term gain” parenting moments. And, your teaching your baby a valuable tool that they will benefit from throughout their entire childhood.
Better Sleep for Baby — and for You
Yes, the parent handling bedtime may have a few rough nights. But once your baby learns to fall asleep independently, you’ll both enjoy the benefits:
- Longer, uninterrupted nights
- Easier nap times
- More flexibility in your routine
- Confidence leaving your baby with trusted caregivers or family
- More time with your partner!
And most importantly — a happier, more well-rested baby and family
Need Help with Sleep Training? We’re here to help you.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure about where to start, you’re not alone. At Sweet Dreams we have expert sleep consultants to help guide you through each step of the process with personalised, caring support. We are also parents and know first-hand, through our own early experiences of parenting, quite how hard it can be. It’s why we became sleep coaches in the first place.
Book your FREE 30-minute sleep consultation today and take the first step toward better sleep for your whole family.
And don’t forget to check out our Sleep Coaching Blog for more baby sleep tips, guidance, and expert advice. Read more about teaching independent sleep here.
